Go back to the basics, and delay the dream. That was my plan. I had been going in circles, and now the path ahead was disjointed, and my intentions were lost in a fuzzy, nebulous kaleidoscope of confusion. I desperately wanted to share my experience with the world, yet I was out of ideas. Everything I tried fell flat, and I always ended up disappointed. “No one sees what I see. This is hopeless. I will just do it for myself, and all of it will be my little secret.”
Once again I ran away to the only place where my experience could be shared. I laid under the aspens looking for comfort and peace once again. My heart ached for release, yet I could not find the key. Eventually my thoughts quieted out of exhaustion, and I listened to the soft sound of the trees creaking in the breeze. My eyes followed one particular aspen with a broad, strong base. As I tried to stay focused, the swaying made me feel uneasy, but I kept moving my eyes upward. In that moment, a small opening appeared in the clouds. I focused on the fragile branches at the top of the aspens. “Surely they too will be broken.” As the breeze swayed the tree back-and-forth to the point where it seemed all would come tumbling down, those delicate little branches kept reaching, for they knew that beyond the opening was the warmth of life-giving spring sunlight. The timely message of nature: “Don’t give up. Reach for your breakthrough moment.”
The flow and ebb of life is natural. It is how we cope with the lowest points that reveal the most about us. These are the times when we see the true blessings of who we are, yet we also learn of the fragility of life. When we feel as if we are about to lose our balance and have everything come tumbling down, we should continue to allow our spirits to soar towards the sky. For it is there that we will find the most profound nourishment for our souls. I had no intention of finding an answer that day. I was, instead, at my end, succumbing to the harsh reality that I did not have what it takes. Yet it was in that state of mind that I had my breakthrough moment, perhaps simply because I surrendered, and the natural process could unfold. In the following days, a momentum began, one in which I saw with my own eyes that people were deeply moved by my work. That they felt the same connection on a physical and emotional level. It happened by accident from my perspective, but truth be told, it happened when I relinquished control over the outcome and just let things evolve naturally.
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